Thinking about ladies of the past

I've just been reading an account of Varina Davis' life. It got me to thinking about the lives of women who have gone before us. Their lives couldn't have been different from ours. As a southerner, I feel very close to the women who went before me and the trials they had during the Civil War and afterwards in reconstruction. Can you imagine having the war right around you, threatening your children and you home, making it almost impossible to get enough to eat?

That combined with the thought of raiding soldiers taking what they wanted whenever they could? I don't think the War Between the States marked the citizens living north of the Mason-Dixon line as it did here. The war impoverished the South for many years making Reconstruction even more stifling. It would be nearly a century until the south began to rise above it's poverty and become financially stable.

Back to the present ... I have decided that my mother would be better off at an assisted living facility. As you know, we visited one last week and it was very nice. My husband and I have been talking about it to her and she seems content to move. I know it's not the thing she really wants. Who does? But, there are lots of activities, someone to watch over her to keep her safe and more importantly, people her own age to talk to. A couple of nights ago, she was watching TV and waiting for me to complete dinner. All of a sudden, she laid her head back with a long sigh. I asked her what was the matter and if she was bored and she said "yes". That was the first time she ever indicated to me that she was unhappy with her life.

So we will move forward. More later.

OK, so today I'm taking my mother to visit an assisted living facility. Mom has been living on her own since my dad passed away in 2005. We moved back and built a home next door to where I grew up. My hope was to keep mom from having to ever go to a nursing home or assisted living. Unfortunately, as mom ages, her dementia grows worse and she is having lots of problems despite the fact that I take care of all her finances, clean her house, wash clothes, etc. She has fallen two times in the last two months, the last just going into her house. I'm guessing she didn't pick up her feet high enough to make the step. Down she went, smacking her face on the terrazo floor. Her face is still bruised.

We have unhooked her stove, put a lock on the breaker box and also the thermostat. Last July, she said "my house is hot". Great I thought, her AC is going out. There's another $7,000! Fortunately, but sadly, she had turned on the heat and the house was almost 90 degrees. It was cooler outside than in. It's been going downhill since then.

I'll keep ya'll posted on the visit. I'm sure she doesn't want to go. I'm not sure what is best ... let her stay at home and risk her falling or worse OR put her into an assisted living facility where she can be safe but unhappy. She's unhappy either way since my dad died ...

What do you think? If you have any advice, please let me know.

Bye for now,

New Blogger on the Way

Well, here I am.  I never thought I would be blogging, but after several years of working from home, taking care of my mom and the daily grind of keeping 55 acres of orange grove up, I really needed an opportunity to talk to other people, even if I don't know them.

I'm a southern girl, born and raised, so talking comes naturally to me. Also telling stories.  Most of my conversations begin with "ya'll are not going to believe this" or "I'll try to make this short" and then going into a rambling story with many starts and stops.  If you are southern too, you know you can't just tell the facts, you also have to tell the background on every person in the story, give the listener an opportunity to actually feel like they were really there.

I love a good story.

There will be more to come ... things I've been thinking about, what's happening in the grove, how my mom is doing (believe me, the challenges that come with caring for a mother with dementia are not what I was prepared for) and best of all, my love for our Kentucky farm, Clayton Creek.